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French Bread
French Bread is more than just the baguette. That long, skinny loaf bouncin’ on the back of ancient bikes, ridden by equally ancient froggies down poplar lined country roads. (You remember that tourist poster, dontcha?)
While there are not as many varieties of French bread as there are French Cheese – you’ll have no trouble finding enough different “taste experiences” to keep yer palette from breakfast boredom for many a month. And, we have the French Government to thank.
Big Brother is Helping You?
Yes, dear reader. Truth is stranger than fiction. Every so often, Governments shock us senseless by actually doing something that benefits those that elected ’em. What the French Government did was repeal, recind, abolish and deep six a law that fixed the price of bread. Before that date(which I don’t know, and would’nt mean diddly to you anyway) – the baguette was one price. Say – 85 centimes. So – no free enterprise. No Competition. No incentive for Mr. Baker to throw in any extra culinary bells ‘n whistles.
But, with “deregulation” – a whole new bread game – Bakers without borders! – What a concept!
And so, Baker no. 1, chooglin’ to establish “pre-eminence”, turns out a baguette coated with sesame seeds and charges 95 centimes. When Baker 2 gets a whiff o’ this – not to be caught with his flour down – he unveils a baguette with sesame seeds AND raisins. For 1(at that time) Franc. Baker no. 3 – racing to the head ‘o the pack, gets his clients salivating with “baguette extraordinaire.” Sesame seeds, raisins and nuts. For 1.25!
The Game Changer
Enter Baker no. 4. The innovator. A serial entrepreneur. He realizes that the times they be a-changin’. And to stay ahead of the competition – He needs to severely push the envelope. Break with tradition. Go electric while the others stay acoustic! So – What does he do?
In an inspirational stroke of “breadupmanship” – he rolls out a loaf that is not long. Not skinny. Not thin. A loaf that is – mon dieu – SQUARE! But wait – There’s more! This guy is the Bill Gates of bread. He “bundles” his bread with raisins, nuts, figs, 6 cereal grains, and – wait for it –coats it with poppy seeds!
Priced at 1.50, he can’t keep it on the shelves. And so it glows. A win-win-win situation. Baker wins. Consumer wins. And, bien sur, Government wins. By raising the price of flour whenever they get the itch. And you thought they were just bein’ nice? (Quelle naiveté!)
Da Payoff
The moral of this “bread-stery”, dear reader, is that when you visit France expect variety! Not just in the bread, but in everything. The food. The Wine. The landscape. And most(and best of all) the people.
Ready for breakfast?(Lunch?, Dinner?)
THROW ME A BONE HERE PEOPLE!
What are ya thinkin’?
Medieval Villages France
“History is written by the winners.” A quote we’re all familiar with. But, ya know what? It ain’t necessarily so. As the defiant young lady immortalized above proves. Who does History remember more – Joan of Arc? Or the blue meanies who invited her to be the guest of dis-honor at her own bar-b-que?
You’ve seen this Movie before
Ok – every countries History is full of stuff like this. Because History has always been, and will always be : Kings, Queens, Love, War, Intrigue, Poverty, Oppression and a Revolution or two. History is a spontaneous stew of “the best of times, the worst of times.” All the ingredients for a great action/adventure movie.
You don’t know Squat
And precisely BECAUSE it was’nt our reality, we fantasize about/glamorize those eras in the past, that speak to us across time. One of the most appealing seems to be one that, for the folks who had to live it, was nothing to blog about. The Middle Ages.(Le Moyen Age) Medieval Life, dear reader. The stuff of very rich and very poor. No equality for either sex. (“Workin’ for the man every night and day.”) Not to mention – decimated TWICE in 100 years by the Bubonic plague.( check out Daniel Defoe’s – ” A Journal of The Plague Year.” This, not the gay, alcoholic, drug users’ -“In Cold Blood” was THE first non-fiction novel.)
Medieval Legacy
Happily, something good did come out of the Middle Ages. Architecture. And France done got it in spades. Waaaay too many goodies for me to rant about in this space. So, today, i’m gonna hip ya to three that, for me, resonate with the authentic atmosphere of “Le Moyen Age.”(and, would’nt ya know it, there’s great wine in all three!)
Pezenas
Say it just the way it looks – pez-in-ass. Get out yer map o’ France. Go right down the middle, ’til ya hit Avignon. Then head your eyeballs left to Montpellier. (“mon-pell-yea”) 30 or so kms. SW you’ll find Pezenas.
Obviously, like any village with a rad and gnarly Medieval History(and isn’t that the best kind?) Pezenas has been “touristated” to a certain extent. But in a cutsey, “medieval home accessories”way.
Other than that, Pezenas retains a large part of it’s Historical authenticity. As you stroll through it’s streets, there is a genuine sense of being transported to, and immersed in another time. Full of atmosphere, calm, and, lucky for you, no plague!
What’s up with This?
There is, dear reader, one mystery for me in Pezenas. The statue of the playright Moliere.
Normally, a statue is hommage to a native son who has gone on to greater glories in the world outside Smallville. Like the statue of George Brassens in Sete.Or the bronze of Paco de Lucia in Algcerias. But Moliere was born in Paris. His professional career was centered in Paris. He died in Paris.(on stage, acting in his own play “The Imaginary Invalid.” ) So – HOW is Moliere connected to Pezenas? He zoomed down for a weekend of r ‘n r? As do modern Parisians.He bought Costumes there? Parchment? Quills for his pen? WWWhat? If ya got the lowdown, please share it with the assembled multitude. Throw me a bone here people!
Cagnes-Sur-Mer
Alrighty then! After luxuriating in the Medieval delights of Pezenas, it’s time to shuffle on down to the other side of the Med., past Avignon, Marseille, Toulon, etc, until roughly 20 kms. before Nice(also worth a visit for it’s “Old Town”) you hit “Can -ya-sir-mare.” But wait – you don’t want this one. The one “sur le Mer.” Head up the narrow snakey streets to the “Vieux Cagnes.” (The “Old Town”) Da BG suggests wandering spontaneously through them there streets at night. You’ll have only wild cats for company.
The Real Deal
Refreshingly, with the exception of a small Hotel or two, there’s nothing “touristated” about Le Vieux Cagnes. Here, especially at night,the stone streets bear silent witness to the struggle, courage and perserverance of Cagne’s Medieval ancestors.
Not for the Agraphobic
After a good nights sleep, descend to the seafront and head to Nice. As I said, well worth visiting it’s old town, especially if you happen to hit a market day. Whether or not you stop in Nice, keep heading east, in the direction of Monaco……soon you’ll will be drolling over the hilltop village of Eze. 3000 metres above the blue, blue Med.( 1 metre = 3 ft) Fair warning – Eze is the most “tourisated” of these three Medieval gems.( A four star Hotel, guest houses, souvenir shops, re-cobbled cobblestone streets) but – in spite of all this – well worth a visit.
Medieval Villages France. Enough to get ya started?
THROW ME A BONE HERE PEOPLE!
What are ya thinkin’?
French Cycling – Part Two
GETTING STARTED
There are exceptions to the truism”you get what you pay for.” Buying a French Cycling bike is not one of them. This is not a cost. This is an investment. A chocolate bar is a cost. Once it’s gone – end o’ story. A good touring bike is an investment. A continuing story. More than simply reliable transportation. It’s also your confidante ,dream facilitator, passport to adventure and your best travellin’ pal. So – ya need to find the best travelling pal possible. N’est ce pas?
Here are the “Friendship Qualities” to look for :
- THE FRAME.
Light n’ strong. Here’s where “more”(dollars) is ,most often, mo’ beddah.$400-800 should getcha 90% of the cycling enchilada. In this price range the frame will likely be “cromoly” – a tasty blend of chrome and aluminium.
The more pictures of dead presidents you have to play with – the lighter the frame. The nth degree being carbon fibre. After that, it’s “the sky’s the limit price club.” Frames built with stuff NASA is only dreaming about!
- TIRES.
Don’t, repeat don’t economize here. This is what “floats yer boat.” So invest in the best. $25 to $45 per tire is the range. I use, and recommend, the “Dutch perfect” brand.(Even tho’ they’re not paying me for this. Hint-hint!) This tire has an interior layer that traps tire-puncturin’ nasties. Preventin’ ’em from doin’ in the rubber you float on.
The “Dutch Perfect’s” come with a one year guarantee.(in normal use) I’ve used them abnormally (what else?)six months with no punctures……but two (one front, one rear) “tube failures” due to heat and weight. Sadly, there are no “quality options” for tubes.
Should ya carry a spare? This is a “should I wear a helmet?” question. Depends on yer comfort zone /weight preferences. But, in a zillion and a half years of cycling, I’ve only had a tire explode on me once. (Front one, at that!)
- TUBES.
ALWAYS a minimum of two spares. I used to repair tubes. But(again, “too soon old –too late smart”) all the hassle/time/aggro of finding the puncture, marking it applying the glue, waiting for it to set, applying the patch, “proving” the patch..etc (getting tired already are’nt ya?) Finally burned the truth into my tiny brain. This is a classic definition of false economy. Ok – I’m not a zillionaire yet but $5(or less)to avoid this dance? – sign me up!
- SADDLE.
What non-bike folks call “the seat.” Like a good mattress it should be firm.(ie-support not surround) Softy/foamy saddles are for “girly men” and Sunday cyclists who’s idea of adventure is a 10 mile(return) expedition to “Lattes ‘r Us.”
DA BG recommends an all leather saddle. England’s “Brooks” makes one of the best. Several models, Again, they’re not paying me for this glowing endorsement.
The reason a leather saddle is the “bee’s knee’s”,”the cat’s pyjamas”, and the greatest thing since all night pizza, is that it morphs, ab/fab and uniquely to fit yer rear. The bad news is that the morphing process is two weeks of “I’m sitting on a concrete block” hell! But –hang in(actually hang on) there. Cus’ after that….you’ll be ridin’ with a happy butt.
- ACCESSORIES.
Panniers.
Technically an accessory. But, practically, a necessity!
Mimimum two decent sized(ie –not “Sunday cyclist” size) on the back. Ideally, also,”low riders” – frames that attach to yer front forks supporting two smaller(but not tiny) panniers. These “friends on the front” will not only give you a better balanced “unit”, but are essential to carry all the goodies those friendly foreign folks are gonna be tryin’ to weigh ya down with.
My M.O. is to put all the stuff I don’t use during the day in the front – leaving at last half vacant for the swag! (“Build it, and it will come.”)
Water.
Mimimum of two one litre bottles. Or the “camel style” back paks, with “tube feeding” for hand free guzzlin’.
Should ya buy the super spendy insulated bottles? Depends, as always on yer wallet. My experience is that they’re great, for about an hour. (Keep in mind I’m usually in 35-40° celsius heat, every day) Being the boy scout I am, my solution is to freeze the standard (non-insulated) plastic bottles, then tape ’em with aluminium foil in the a.m.
They’ll defrost slowly, keeping ya cool through most o’ the day.However, as your Nutritionist/Doctor has probably told you, as good as that cold aqua goes down on a boiling day, water does ya the most good at room temperature. (No happy medium here.)
Lights.
Really jonesin’ to barrel down those country roads in da pitch black? Then lights will definitely decrease yer chances of an unexpected meeting with a Sanglier. (The French wild boar. Think small,hairy Rhinoceros.)
Reflectors.
On the bike. And/or around yer ankles. Why not? Inexpensive and practical. (Now there’s a combo ya don’t see often!) And, chances of you cycling in twilight, are much greater than those of “Sanglier surfing.”
GPS.
Since I’m from the “getting-lost-is-part-of-the-adventure” school, I can’t give ay any….ahem……”guidance” here. A map, a mouth, and half a brain(on a good day,bien sur) usually saves my bacon.
Counters.
If you’ll be countin’ sheep all night cus’ you don’t know how many kms of adventure you did…….get one. Personally, I could give a rat’s ass. But it is the logical question everyone you meet is gonna ask. I just tell my friendly froggies where I started – and let them do the math!
Parts.
Unlike those four wheeled metal monsters who offer you the unrivalled thrill of waiting for you part to arrive; or even better, waiting to see if your part even exists, and if so, can be ordered – bike parts are bike parts. A brake cable is a brake cable. In the mall super store, or the back o’ beyond.
That should get ya started on your French Cycling adventure.
Anything I missed?
THROW ME A BONE HERE PEOPLE
What are ya thinkin’?
