French Language quirks, like everyone else’s, are mostly linguistic. And feature most prominently in “terms of endearment.”It does’nt take an Olympic leap of the imagination to understand – “mon coeur.” (my heart) or “mon petite ange.” (my little angel) Definitely other identical/similiar phrases in many other languages.

But “mon petite poulet”(my little chicken)clearly a unique “love compliment.” N’est ce pas?

However, quirks in the French Language(ever versatile) are not limited to variations on the”you are mine and don’t you forget it” theme. There is one French quirk that  transcends regional boundaries. Hard(actually, impossible) to describe, even with my effervescent prose, is the French Quirk of wordless agreement. Instead of “uh-huh”, “um hum” or even a quick “yeah”, the froggy ones pony up a petite grunt. “Ump”is about the closest words can come. And that’s still a few football fields away from a touchdown.

Of course it’s not just the  wine swilling cheese chompers who spew weird words in unique ways. English Women may call you”duckie”, while the U.K.men(regardless of your name) greet you with “ow right, John?”

But the icing on the English Linguistic quirk cake is the phrase – “Bob’s your Uncle.”(Translation – “no worries”.)

As weird, wack, wild, wonderful and way out as those be(and we have’nt even mentioned Cockney rhyming slang!) – not all English quirks are linguistic.

In another lifetime, I shared a house in the West end of London with two other guys. Phil, a gregarious, always ready to party actor, and Peter , a quiet, but not dead, stenographer.

Since Peter rose at “0-dark-30″(an Americanism for too early to imagine)Phil and I’s primary household concern was to make sure whatever in-house evening we might be enjoying, did not rob Peter of his much needed “z’s.”

Alors ,when/if we came in late, since Peter had no car, there was no way of knowning if he was home or not.

Ever resourceful, as well as gregarious , it was Phil who devised the “PEWS.”(Peter Early Warning System)

“PEWS” was the ultimate triumph of human engineering .Already installed. Fingertip real-time adjustment. No chips , circuit boards ,wires,or transistors. And most important, no maintenance.

Additionally,”PEWS” was a classic quirk-based solution.

Peter’s quirk, being neatness. Order. A place for everything .And everything in it’s place. If he was home, Peter’s first stop would be our postage stamp living room.(Visualize a poor dentist’s waiting room. ….Better yet……….try to visualize a poor dentist! The ultimate contradiction..n’est ce pas?)

And the first stop on his round the room inspection tour would be the faux brass candle holders, on the mantelpiece of our faux fireplace. If, for some inexplicable reason one happened to be ever so slightly mis-aligned – Peter to the rescue!

You’re getting my drift, dear reader, are you not?

Whenever Phil or I left the house, we’d turn one of the candle holders, ever so slightly. If it remained in the same position upon our return, we were assured an all-the-noise-you-want-Peter-free-evening!

I never discovered Phil’s quirk .But, certainly he had one. As do you also dear reader. Everyone has a quirk . Some unconscious personal habit , that is as apparent to the rest o’ the world as a spaghetti stain on a white shirt.

Mine, is, (surprise,surprise)-eating. Not consuming mass quantities at indy 500 speed,mind you. But enjoying something good! Regardless of it’s simplicity, complexity, or price. The word “gourmet”for me means “the best.” And,that can be equally a peanut butter and honey sandwich or a five star restaurant extravaganza.

My quirk, contrary to what you might imagine, did not begin with my discovery of France and subsequent ascension to the lofty pinnacle of bicyclegourmet-dom. It is, in fact,inbred. But not genetic.

As a pre-teen(when, like all pre-teens/teenagers…..I did consumer mass quantities at indy 500 speed)one of my most vivid memories,is of my Mother, asking for “just a little taste” of my Matterhorn sized bowl of Cherry ice cream.”AAAAW  MOM!” of course was my natural  response. But Mom really did want “just a taste.”

Now, like her then, I’m definitely on the “less is more” program.For food, anyway.Wine –  like a beautiful woman, crazy about ya and always available, can be a “severe consumption challenge.”

I never considered myself as having a quirk, until a girlfriend got to calling me “Mr. Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner.” Inevitable, I suppose, considering the height of her culinary expertise was instant Chinese noodles.

I wear my quirk lightly, aided, obviously by a National lifestyle that revolves around food ,wine and the pursuit of “Le Bonheur.”(Happiness)Buoyed by , and further connected to my fellow humans by the realization that, like a birthmark, our quirks are badges of individuality. And that’s a good thing.

So, What’s your quirk?

THROW ME A BONE HERE PEOPLE!

what are ya thinkin’?

 

Exciting life? Me? Uhhhh……well…….I have experienced virtually every region of France. And, in all modesty(of which as you know, dear reader, I have an unlimited supply) I “know” more about those regions than most o’the natives here. But,exciting?

For me,”exciting”is a sudden, unexpected jolt of adrenalin. Usually flavored heavily with pleasure, joy,happiness,or some positive variation thereof. Like winning the lottery or discovering your bank balance gained some zeros on the end overnight. Exciting? Absolutely! A roller coaster ride. Not my personal cup o’ tea. But exciting? Yup.

Chained to my computer on a sunny day, curtains drawn, chirping birds punishing me with their happiness, as my software refuses to do it’s job. Exciting? But wait…there’s more!….When, after a million light years on hold (which I am paying for) the tech geek says:”Gee – never heard o’ anything like that before.” And does he then continue : “What I’d suggest is……..” You know the answer dear reader , do you not? Exciting?

A flat tire in beyond the middle of nowhere. In a plus 9 gale with horizontal sheets of magnum force rain. After 10 hrs in the saddle, and 2 yet to go. You’re exhausted. You’re starving. And,(would’nt ya know it)you have to pee like there’s no tommorrow! Exciting?

Your(only)Camcorder craps out 10 days before a major shoot and, you guessed it – no one in Europe has the part. Soooo – back it goes to the excited states, while you sweat bullets, with each kilometer, creeping forward to your rendezvous with one of the most celebrated chefs in France.Trying to imagine how you’ll finesse a video shoot with no camera. If “free floating anxiety/latent panic” are your ideas of “excitement”….then this, clearly, is the zenith of excitement!

For the most part, I guess I think of my life more in terms of satisfaction and contentment. Both of which, are the obvious results of memorable travels and countless marvelous meetings.Treasured even more for their spontaneity.

Past satisfaction and contentment, there are rare, but definite moments of pure Bliss . Most of them, relating to smells. The heady scent of provencal lavender on a baking hot day. The almost medicinal aroma of pine, surfing the forests of the Var, in equally sweltering heat.The early morning perfume of freshly baked bread as you glide through a tiny perfect village, still sleeping. Expect for the postman on his clunky yellow bike.

But for me, the greatest,defining moment of bliss ,is floating through a landscape so perfect, with light so clear and soft you want to stop every other minute. Not just for a photo opp. But simply to marvel at it all. In this moment of bliss, the road is a glass smooth, no potholes surface. No cars. No billboards. You’re not hungry. Not tired. And the temperature is pleasantly warm, with a soft, caressing breeze.

This, dear reader, is what I live for.

 This is the “pinch yourself” moment. When you can’t believe that life can be this perfect. And(as you’re pinching yourself) realizing that there are kazillions of people all over the world (some of whom you know) who are in suits and (uggh!)inside! Even worse, some are in suits, in cars, stuck in traffic, with no good song on the radio!

It is at that moment, regardless of whether you believe in luck, destiny, fate, or none of the above, that you know(and appreciate) beyond the hint of a shadow of a doubt – you are on the right road!

“I have taken the road not taken and it has made all the difference.”

                                      – Robert Frost –

There you have it, dear reader. The black, white and grey of my life.(So far!)

Exciting? Or just “different?”